The Random Adventures of a NoFace
by Rabid Chibi Squirrels Inc
Summary: Yeah. Read the Title, it CANNOT be ignored!
1. Kaonashi Meets Shampoo

_**Kitsune: Hello, I decided to start a new series thingy, and I just thought of this while I was in the shower!**_

_**Jeremy: Nice . . . What, uh, else were ya doin' in there? (pervy smile)**_

_**Kitsune: (rolls eyes) Shut up.**_

_**Jeremy: (snicker)**_

_**Kitsune: CANDY!**_

_**Jeremy: (reads the story) Oh. AH! I just came up with a story to fit in with this! Heh, this will be fun. And it'll probably be . . . the third chapter . . .**_

_**Kaonashi: Why do I get the feeling I won't like his?**_

_**Jeremy: Oh, I shall make everyone suffer . . . (evil, pervy smirk0**_

_**Kitsune: That's why! SAVE ME! (jumps into Kaonashi's arms) Hi, Kao-kun! (kiss)**_

_**Kaonashi: (dazed) Uh . . . huh? Oh, review!**_

-

**The Random Adventures of NoFace!**

**Summary: While NoFace and Kitsune are a couple, NoFace doesn't know the human world that well. Oh well, he'll learn soon enough. From shampoo to diet pills, we find ways of making him suffer. No, we do not NoFace bash, we love him too much for that!**

-

**Chapter 1: Kaonashi Meets Shampoo**

-

It was a cool autumn eve. It was also the early years. The years before Kaonashi's temple was erected, when Kaonashi stayed with Kitsune in a small, one bedroom apartment overlooking Tokyo, Japan. It was a nice, cozy apartment; with one bathroom, one bedroom, a living room that blended into the small, yet comfortable kitchen, and the living had a nice view with its large windows, nearly ceiling to floor, only limited by about two feet in each direction (up and down). And the large, clear sliding door that led from the bedroom to a balcony.

There was a small, yet cozy couch in the living room, which Kitsune and Kaonashi now sat on. Well, Kitsune sat on the end, leaning against the armrest, and Kaonashi stretched out against her, leaning his head back against her chest while she played with his hair.

He sighed and closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of her fingers sifting through his brown locks. A sudden pain at the back of his head made him wake with a start. He glanced up in confusion at Kitsune, who glanced down at her fingers, miserably. They were caught at a rather large knot in his hair.

"Kaonashi, what's this?" she asked him. He glanced at her.

"Uh, I dunno," he said, in a low voice. Kitsune bent her head down and took a whiff of his hair, then recoiled, crinkling her nose.

"Don't you use shampoo?"

"Sham . . . poo?" Kaonashi blinked and tilted his head to the side. "What's that?"

"It's something that people use to clean their hair, and make it smell fresh," She raised an eyebrow, "You've never heard of shampoo?"

He shook his head. She withdrew her fingers from his hair, and let him run his through her hair. It was very soft and smooth, smelled like champagne, and he had no trouble running his fingers through it.

"So," he said, "You use this 'shampoo' to make your hair get this soft?" Kitsune nodded. Kaonashi was suddenly lost in his thoughts. He thought of himself, using this 'shampoo' thing, whatever it was, and having his hair become so soft that Kitsune wouldn't leave him alone. She would constantly run her fingers through his hair, and want . . .

_More._

"Uh, Kaonashi, are you hungry? You're drooling?" Kitsune asked. Kaonashi had a faraway look on his face and a little drool was hanging from his mouth. He didn't notice. She waved a hand in his face. "Kaonashi?"

-

He felt like such a fool.

After he had snapped out of his little trance, he had told her that he wanted to get some shampoo and use it, so she gave him a couple dollars and told him to go to the store and pick out something he liked.

At first, he thought of her, and went straight to the lingere department, thinking of frilly, lacey, delightful things she could wear for him . . . .

He abruptly turned and marched towards the Health and Beauty department, blushing like mad for thinking such things.

And now, here he was.

Staring at thousands of different liquid-filled bottles of various colors, names, and brands, without a clue as of what they were used for.

He continued to stare.

And stare.

And stare.

He raised an eyebrow, and grabbed the closest bottle, examining it. It read,

_KY Edible Lubricant: For that tingling feeling where it matters . . ._

He yelped and dropped it as if it burned his hand. He made a mental note to never get near a KY brand ANYTHING if his life depended upon it.

He then stared at various things that read, _Shampoo._

Ah, yes. That's what he wanted!

Oh, but which to buy?

There was V05 brand, one of which had an amber color similar to beer, yet smelled absolutely horrendous. That was a no. He glanced through varieties, differing from White Rain brands to Tropical Fruit Punch scents.

He grabbed one and opened the cap, taking a soft whiff. He liked this. He read the label. V05, Shampoo, Kiwi Lime. This was a keeper. With that, he went to the checkout aisle, paid for it, and left.

-

He showed his spoils to Kitsune, who glomped him for picking up Peanut M&M's for her, then left for the bathroom. As he undressed, he fingered the bottle of shampoo he'd acquired. He set the spray on warm, walking into the shower, closing the glass door. He did his ritual of washing with that darned slippery soap that he never got a good grip on, and ended up having to bend over twelve times just to reach it all the way at the bottom of the shower stall.

Finally, Kaonashi picked up the bottle of V05 shampoo, turning it over and reading the directions.

_Lather, rinse, repeat._

Kaonashi blinked. What kind of instructions were those? They might as well say _Stick it up your butt and do the Hokey Pokey! _He could only guess how many idiots were still in the shower after _repeat_ing over and over and over again. After fingering with the bottle again, he squeezed a drop of the substance on his finger, tasting it. He immediately regretted it, and choked, spitting it out and throwing the bottle across the room. A string of curses followed his spitting.

That was followed with a knock on the bathroom door. "Kaonashi? Are you okay?"

Oh, it was Kitsune.

"Do you need help in there?"

He spluttered a bit before he nodded, then remembering she couldn't see, he said, "Yeah, door's open."

She entered, closing the door after and locking it. She glanced at the shampoo bottle resting by her feet, picked it up, and walked to the glass door. "What happened?" she asked, "Did it bite you?"

He shook his head, glancing at her fuzzy image through the glass screen door. "No, I tried some."

"And?" she prompted.

"It didn't taste good."

That earned him a good two minutes of laughter from her.

"What?" he asked.

"You don't eat it, Kao-kun," she laughed, "You rub it into your hair!"

"But," he blinked, "The label said Kiwi Lime, and I like Kiwi and I like Lime, so I thought . . ."

"Do you need some help?" she asked him.

"Yes."

She opened the door, but he 'uh-uh'ed her. She looked at him. He smiled devilishly at her.

"We have a policy here in the shower," he said, "No shirt, no shoes . . ." he began, then finished, smirking, "No pants or undergarments of any kind allowed."

Kitsune raised an eyebrow, smiling, but shrugged and undressed, climbing in with him. "Alright, you washed, right?" He nodded. "Then, here's what you do with the shampoo."

She told him to turn around, but he protested.

"It doesn't work the other way around, Kits." She slapped him for that.

"Baka hentai!"

She squeezed a good sized glob of the greenish liquid into her hands, then threw her hands into his hair, rubbing it in, and creating a thick white lather. She raked her nails across his scalp, and Kaonashi knew a different definition of the word, _pleasure_.

"This is heavenly . . ." he mumbled. She began to slow down, indicating she was almost done, when he blurted out, "More!" Kitsune quirked an eyebrow at his outburst, but complied, digging deep into his skin. Kaonashi groaned.

"I've never known someone to get excited over having their hair washed," Kitsune said, when she rinsed his hair out.

"Maybe, but you have **NO** idea how _good_ that feels . . ." he said, revelling in the contact of her skin against his back. How she encircled her arms around his stomach and pressed soft kisses along his wet back. The warm spray of the water created steam that rose up and steamed up the glass door.

He finally turned around and pressed their foreheads together, smiling and staring into eachother's eyes. Finally, his gaze dropped, taking on a lusty sheen to them, as he looked her up and down and few times. She smirked and gripped his hair, making him give a startled yelp.

"Nu-uh, turn around, big boy," she said, "We're not finished yet. You still have to learn the wonders of conditioner."

She reached beyond him and grabbed one of her conditioners. V05, Conditioner, Champagne Kiss. It held a pink liquid. He blanched at her.

"Oh no, I am NOT using pink stuff in my hair!"

-

"Ah, harder!" Kaonashi moaned, as Kitsune fingers kneaded his scalp with the pink conditioner. She laughed.

"What were you saying before about not using pink 'stuff' in your hair?" she asked, slyly. She recieved another good moan, and a small thrust with his butt against her for it, as in a 'shut up and get back to work' gesture, making her quirk an eyebrow and shake her head.

After she rinsed his hair, they turned the shower off, and Kaonashi carried her out. No, he literally carried her out of the shower, setting her down on the sink counter, as she used a towel to dry his hair.

"You're so wierd, Kao-kun," she teased. He gave her a small peck on the lips before carrying her out ito the bedroom. She rummaged through her dresser, searching, while he sat, nude the bed, waiting for her to return. It was a VERY good thing they'd installed blinds or curtains, or whatever they were, that obscurred anyone who dared to take a peek in's vision.

With an "AH-HA!" she lunged at him, successfully knocking him over and sitting on his lap, while she brandished a rather large piece of plastic with plastic teeth.

A brush.

She rolled over and told him to sit up, while she sat behind him, carefully brushing out the tangles in his hair. Again, he began to groan and grunt as the teeth of the brush ran along his scalp, separating strands of his hair and relieving a familiar itch.

"See?" she said, "Shampoo may be nice, but I LOVE my conditioner! It's what makes my hair all silky and soft! See for yourself!" She let him rake his own hand through his hair, looking at himself in the mirror.

"Is that me?" he asked, incredulously, still fluffing his hair. She came up behind him, running her fingers through his hair, and sighing.

"That's more like it."

Kaonashi turned around, pushing her towards the bed, with a mischievious smile plastered on his face. He pinned her down, getting his face close to hers.

"I'm going to have to repay you now," he said, but she just smiled, innocently, and pecked his lips, before he recaptured hers in hungry passion.

Ah, but that, my friends, is a different story . . .

-

_**Kitsune: Oh Kami, did that come out that way? (blush)**_

_**Kaonashi: Ah, but you retold the story perfectly this time. I think it's better that way.**_

_**Kitsune: That IS how it happened, koibito. (kisses him)**_

_**Kaonashi: Alrighty then! Review! (kisses her)**_

_**Jeremy: (taping this)**_

_**Kitsune: OUT, JEREMY!**_

_**Kaonashi: (growl) (throws Jeremy off a 5-story building)**_

_**Jeremy: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (KER-SPLAT!)**_


	2. NoFaces And Bunnies Don't Mix

_**Kitsune: AH! I feel so stupid for using the word 'heavenly' when Kaonashi was speaking! (hits self with a random object, which just so happens to be NoFace's mask)**_

_**Kaonashi: (carefully plucks his mask from her fingers, sets it aside, and hugs her from behind) Please review! (looks at Kitsune) How long will it be until the torture?**_

_**Kitsune: (groan) Jeremy's busy planning his 'masterpiece' of a third chapter for this fic.**_

_**Kaonashi: -- It's gonna be something perverted, isn't it?**_

_**Kitsune: (sigh) Probably. Don't worry, we'll get through it. (holds his hand) Together! Wherever we go! (starts singing songs from Gypsy, the play her school performed) Oh! Guess what! I auditioned for our next play!**_

_**Kaonashi: You were in the play before, weren't you?**_

_**Kitsune: Nope! I was in the light crew! I actually AUDITIONED! They made me SING!**_

_**Kaonashi: What did you sing?**_

_**Kitsune: They made me sing THREE songs.**_

_**Kaonashi: Ooh! That means you were good! What did you sing?**_

_**Kitsune: "It's Not Your Fault" by New Found Glory, "Me and My Gang" by Rascal Flatts, and "Feels Like Today" by Rascal Flatts, at least, I sang all the first stanzas, or whatever they're called.**_

_**Kaonashi: My mate, the . . . SUPERSTAR! (makes little hand motion)**_

_**Kitsune: I'd never been so embarrassed in my life! (blushing so hot she has to hide her face in her hands) But, n the other hand, I know who I am.**_

_**Kaonashi: Who?**_

_**Kitsune: Lady Merrill. And for the first practice, we had to learn a dance called the Spanish Panic. It was strange and bizzarre.**_

_**Kaonashi: Really? You'll have to teach me.**_

**_Kitsune: I already know _your_ favorite dance. But the play is called 'Once Upon A Mattress'._**

_**Kaonashi: Never heard of it.**_

_**Kitsune: Me either. Oh well. Please review!**_

-

**The Random Adventures of NoFace!**

**Summary: While NoFace and Kitsune are a couple, NoFace doesn't know the human world that well. Oh well, he'll learn soon enough. From shampoo to 'diet' pills, we find ways of making him suffer.**

**No, we do not NoFace bash, we love him too much for that!**

-

**Chapter 2: NoFaces and Bunnies Don't Mix**

-

Today, NoFace was in the Spirit World, picking mushrooms for Zeniba. While going deep into the woods, he stumbled across . . . a HOLE! BUM BUM BUM! Okay, that's not the scary part, but we're slowly getting there.

And so, the poor, naive spirit set down his basket of mushrooms and gazed, curiously, at the hole. It was quite dark inside. A small squeak noise made him jump and turn around, thinking it was the possessed lantern that lived on Zeniba's gateway. But NOTHING WAS THERE!

The squeak sounded again, but this time, he distinctly heard it come from the hold in the ground. He turned to gaze down at it.

Then, out popped a BUNNY! A tiny white rabbit with blue eyes and white fur hopped about. Its nose jiggled and twitched in a very . . . bunny-like manner, as it sniffed around. It sniffed around its hole, then hopped towards NoFace, and began to sniff him, too. It stared up at him, in an impossibly cute manner.

"Eh, eh . . ." NoFace grunted, softly, his mask smiling. _'Aw, how cute.'_

The spirit knelt, or bent, down to pet the bunny, softly stroking its fur. The tiny thing . . . _giggled_ cutely, getting on its hind legs and dancing around NoFace. How queer . . . It then pirouetted and spun around like a ballerina, towards NoFace's basket. It picked up a mushroom, sniffing it.

NoFace put up a hand. "Eh, ah . . ." _'Wait, those are for Zeniba!'_

The bunny pouted, cutely, eyes big and blue. It squeaked twice. _'But I _like_ mushrooms . . .'_

NoFace retracted his hand, and then smiled softly, nodding his head once. "Ah, eh, uh huh." _'Okay, one mushroom.'_

But, before he knew it, the bunny ate it, and took another. When he protested, it squeaked. He protested again, saying that they made a deal, only one mushroom. But the bunny's eyes narrowed, angrily. It squeaked again.

NoFace stood up, frowning. "Ah, eh, ah ah!"

The bunny faced him. "Squeak squeak squeak _squeak_!"

"Ah, eh, ah! Huh uh ah!"

Smirking, thinking he'd won, he began to approach. But, the bunny went BERSERK! Its fur turned grey and its eyes turned red. The two buck teeth bunnies usually have turned into sharp bucked . . . FANGS! The bunny hissed, demonically.

NoFace's 'face' dropped, and he stared in horror. The bunny reared and finally lunged. The next thing the poor spirit knew, he was being attacked by a rabid bunny. He flailed, trying to get the stupid creature off of him, but it only bit him harder in various places, jumped off of him, and then lunged again, biting him on the leg, in the side, on his arm, and any other place it could get to.

Seeing as NoFace, at this time, had a limited ability of speech, he could only grunt to show his pain. And, he grunted quite a lot, for he was in a lot of pain.

Finally, the picked the bunny up by the fur, and, seeing as it was still biting him, took a chunk out of the poor spirit with it. The bunny chewed vigorously on the piece of flesh, like rubber, glaring at NoFace, stubbornly. The rabid creature was slapped and then throw deep into the forest.

-

Zeniba opened her door to find the poor NoFace slowly limping toward her cottage. He gave a tiny grunt of pain, and then fell forward, into the dirt. From there, the witch then brought him into the house and tended his wounds.

-

As for the basket of mushrooms, it was never found again.

-

_**Kaonashi: I remember that. It was painful . . . (rubs his side)**_

_**Kitsune: This was before I came into the picture, wasn't it?**_

_**Kaonashi: Yes. It was quite lonely, even if I lived with Zeniba.**_

_**Kitsune: You poor, tortured spirit. (hugs him)**_

_**Kaonashi: (sudden realization) I think I know what Jeremy's planning . . .**_

_**Kitsune: Do you? Oh, well . . . We'll be prepared! Anyway, please review. OH! Guess what! I passed the written part of the Driver's Ed test with an 86! Go me!**_

_**Kaonashi: (waving Japanese victory fans) (those things you always see super-deformed characters waving in manga, like Full-Metal Alchemist; you know, the white fans with the red circle in the middle that symbolize Japan? So waving those would be like saying, "Go Japan!")**_

_**Kitsune: Thank you, thank you! (holds up a picked sign that says, "Will write for reviews and ramen") Time to protest, Kao. (walks away)**_

_**Kaonashi: Bye! (walks away will a picked sign that reads, "You can't handle the truth!")**_


	3. Kaonashi vs Viagra

_**Jeremy: Hello everyone! Bwahaha! Kaonashi's in for the time of his life! Aren't you, Kaonashi?**_

_**Kaonashi: -strapped to a chair, bound and gagged- MMPH!**_

_**Jeremy: Today, we'll watch another one of our 'home movies'. -smirk- You remember this, don't you, Kaonashi?**_

_**Kaonashi: -spits handkercheif out- Jeremy, you're a sick man!**_

_**Jeremy: Yes, I know. Now, without further adu, I give you Kaonashi at his best. -hysterical laughter-**_

_**Kaonashi: NOOOOOOOOO!!!**_

-

**The Random Adventures of NoFace!**

**Summary: While NoFace and Kitsune are a couple, NoFace doesn't know the human world that well. Oh well, he'll learn soon enough. From shampoo to 'diet' pills, we find ways of making him suffer.**

**No, we do not NoFace bash, we love him too much for that!**

-

**Chapter 3: Kaonashi vs. Viagra**

-

At first, there is fuzz, but it clears and Jeremy is seen. The point-of-view, as we can tell, is from a camera. Jeremy is staring into it, smiling. "Hi, you should remember me. I'm Jeremy, Kitsune's partner-in-crime. And our cameraman, James, is here, too. We're recording this as a _present_ for Kitsune. It's her 15th birthday in the human world, so we're sending her something _special_." He smiles, and James chuckles, making the camera shake slightly.

Jeremy makes a "follow me" gesture. We see he is in a house; it is homey. He turns back to the camera. "This is my house, by the way," he says, over his shoulder, "And look who's here." He grins, looking towards the couch. Kaonashi sits, watching TV. "I invited Kitsune's boyfriend over for some video games and pizza, right, Kao?"

Kaonashi turns to look at the camera. He looks confused. "Jeremy, is there a specific reason you are filming?"

"Because," Jeremy says, "it's a class project." James hides a chuckle with a cough, and it is so inconspicuous that Kaonashi doesn't notice the lie. He blinks, shrugs, and turns back to the TV.

"Whatever, dude," he mumbles, letting out a sigh. He rests his head on his hand. "I'm not sure why I'm here in Cali, when I _should_ be in NJ . . . or Japan, or something." He sighs, whistfully.

Jeremy turns to the camera. "So you know, Kitsune's been busy lately, and Kaonashi's been cooped up in his room for the past week, with NO action, and I brought him here to 'help' him," he whispers. James cuhckles, softly. They move toward the kitchen.

Jeremy grabs a glass and fills it with lemonade. He then takes a tiny grey pill and drops it in. It fizzes and dissolves. "This is a drug called Mimide. I'm also Kitsune's pharmacist, and I make medications for her. This is a new one. Our plan is to give Kaonashi a headache—which is what the Mimide will do—but that's just the start. Just watch," Jeremy explains.

They go into the other room; Jeremy carries the lemonade glass with him. He hands it to Kaonashi over his shoulder. Kaonashi takes the glass in his hand, carefully. "Thanks," he says and takes a sip. He shudders, making a sour face. He smiles. "S'good. Nice and sour." He sips at the drink, carefully.

"Thanks, it's my mom's specialty," Jeremy grins. He and James exit the room. "So far, so good. Start the countdown in 5, 4, 3, 2 . . ." He points to the other room. A groan comes from it. Kaonashi staggers in, the lemonade glass he holds is empty. With his other hand, he clutches the side of his head.

"Hey, Jeremy, do you have anything to cure headaches?" Kaonashi asks. He looks quite drowsy.

"What are you looking for?" Jeremy asks, innocently.

"I don't know. Kitsune usually takes pills to get rid of her migraines. What will help?"

"There's a bottle in the sidetable drawer with some medication. Check there," Jeremy points out. Kaonashi gives him a thumbs up and goes to get it. Jeremy and James follow. Kaonashi pulls out the drawer, glances at the contents and grimaces. He turns to Jeremy.

"Do I wanna know what goes on in this house when you're alone?"

Jeremy is seen shaking his head.

Kaonashi grabs the unlabelled bottle and holds it up. "This one?"

Jeremy nods.

"Thanks." Kaonashi goes into the kitchen, bringing the empty lemonade glass. He fills it with water and opens the bottle. He shakes out one pill into his hand. It is small and white. He inspects it. "I thought 'Aspirin' was spelled with an 'A', not a 'V'." He turns the pill upside down. "Maybe I'm not holding it right. Maybe it's a different brand of aspirin." He pops the pill into his mouth and swallows the water, and the pill along with it.

Jeremy turns to the camera, cracking up. "Kaonashi didn't take aspirin. He took 'Viagra', and the commercials say for 'erectile disfunction'. So, in 5, 4, 3, 2 . . ." He thumbs at the kitchen. Kaonashi staggers out, face flushed. He holds onto the doorframe.

"Jeremy, something's wrong with me!" he says.

"What?" Jeremy asks, feigning confusion.

"My headache's gone, but now I'm shaking like a leaf, I'm hot, my head is pounding and my friend won't lie down, if you get my drift," he says the last through gritted teeth.

"Uh oh," Jeremy says.

"What, is it serious?"

"It's a side-effect of the pill."

"Am I gonna die?"

"No."

"Then what should I do?"

"I'm not good in this field, see Kitsune. She should know what to do." Jeremy says, biting his tongue.

Kaonashi nods, determined. "Yes, see Kitsune. Right. Kitsune will know what to do. She'll help me."

"Take these with you," Jeremy says, wrenching open the side-table drawer and handing Kaonashi many packets of condoms. Kaonashi nods, stuffing them in his pockets, not exactly paying attention to what they are. He thanks Jeremy, staggers off, creates a portal and jumps through. Once it closes, Jeremy and James laugh as hard as they can.

"It's like he's never gotten an hard-on before! Stupid naive NoFace . . ." Jeremy grins at the camera. "Kitsune, if you're watching this, Happy Birthday!"

James lets his arm go limp slightly, making the camera angle at the floor. "What an idiot . . ."

The camera shuts off.

-

_**Kaonashi: -staring at the screen in horror-**_

_**Jeremy: -laughing- Remember what happened after that?**_

_**Kaonashi: -groan- You're not gonna show it . . .**_

_**Jeremy: -nodding- Yes.**_

-

A small, floating, ball-like camera hovers in Kitsune's house. The doorbell rings. Kitsune goes to answer the door. As she opens it, she is attacked by Kaonashi, who drags her, confusedly, through the house, going to a bedroom and shutting and locking the door. The camera tries to go through the door, but keeps bouncing back. The last thing we hear from the room is a moan before the camera shuts off.

-

_**Jeremy: -snickering- Did you two have fun that night?**_

_**Kaonashi: -grumble- And most of the next morning thanks to your stupid fake aspirin.**_

_**Jeremy: I still have the scar from where Kitsune slashed at me the next day! -picks up his shirt to show five red slashes across his stomach- Good times, good times.**_

_**Kaonashi: You are a disgusting creep, you know that Jeremy?**_

_**Jeremy: Yep. Well, we must go. Kitsune wanted to get some more chapters up or something. Alright, c-ya!**_


	4. NoFace vs The Voices in his Head

_**Kitsune -- And we're back.**_

_**Jeremy -- Rabid Chibi Squirrels INC doesn't own Spirited Away or NoFace. Although Kitsune wishes she did.**_

_**Kitsune -- -Sigh- I need a boyfriend.**_

_**Jeremy -- You've got me.**_

_**Kitsune -- I mean a BOYFRIEND, not a boy who's a friend. I need someone who can physically cheer me up.**_

_**Jeremy -- Oh, I see. -Smirk-**_

_**Kitsune -- Not THAT way, hentai. I mean give me a hug in real life, not through the internet, and tell me not to give up, and listen to my stories, no matter how stupid they are.**_

_**Jeremy -- Aw, Kitsune's depressed, isn't she?**_

_**Kitsune -- -sniff- Yes. -to the readers- You can read the story now.**_

-

**The Random Adventures of a NoFace**

**Chapter 4**** -- NoFace vs. The Voices In His Head -- Round One**

-

Today, NoFace took a wander beyond Swamp Bottom. He knew not where fate would lead him. Unfortunately, it lead him to the place he dreaded most.

The Bathhouse loomed before him.

He gazed up at it, aglow in the night. A cheerful crowd hustled-and-bustled to and from it; customers. Their gleeful chatter drowned out all other noise.

It was so tempting. Did he dare approach?

_'Go ahead,'_ a little voice in his head spoke softly to him, _'You have every right to go in. You're a customer, reputation or not. It's what you deserve after helping Sen.'_

_'No, don't,' _another voice cried in his head, _'Remember what happened before? You'll only be thrown out and cursed at again. Is it really worth it to you?'_

_'Don't be ridiculous!'_ the other voice spoke. It's voice was smoother than the other; it was more calming, reassuring. _'You wouldn't be recognized if you transform. Use the talents Zeniba lent you. It's been so long, would they even remember you? I highly doubt it. Besides, you look nothing like you do now when you transform.'_

_'He does have a point,' _NoFace thought, _'But I'm not so sure.'_

_'Of course I have a point,'_ the smooth voice said, triumphantly. _'What's there to be sure about? The bathhouse is there. You're here. You transform and Bingo-Was-His-Name-O, we're in.'_

NoFace sweatdropped. _'Bingo-Was-His-Name-O?'_

_'Yeah, don't you remember?' _The other voice who'd told him not to go began to sing. _'There was a farmer had a dog and Bingo was his name--OW! You hit me!'_

_'Stop singing such idiotic songs, then,' _the smooth voice said, aggitated.

_'Don't tell me what to do, you libertine!' _the singing voice exclaimed, _'I'll sing if I wanna sing!'_

_'Both of you, please, shut up!'_ NoFace growled, retreating back into the shadows and rubbing his temples. _'I think I'm going insane.'_

_'You spent too much time around that fox demon, whats-her-name, that now you're hearing voices in your head. How pathetic.'_

_'You wanna know something MORE pathetic?' _NoFace asked.

_'What?'_

_'YOU'RE the voices in my head, so that makes you equally pathetic!'_

_'Hey,' _the voice that had been singing whined, _'I didn't do anything to you, I'm giving you GOOD advice! Why am I pathetic?'_

_'Because you're a wuss, that's why,' _the other voice said, smirking.

_'No, I'm not,' _the other voice whined.

_'Quit it, both of you,' _NoFace said, _'You're giving me a headache.'_

_'I still blame the fox demon.'_

_'Somebody call me?' _Kitsune's voice rang in his head.

_'What's she doing in your head?'_

_'Uh . . .'_

_'I'm confused.'_

_'She's ALWAYS confused.'_

_'Hey, Fox Lady, are you sending a telepathic message?'_

_'No. Hey NoFace, you're sexy.'_

_'So, you hear her voice in your head, too?'_

_'Now, THAT'S pathetic.'_

_'Shut up.'_

_'And you make her say anything you want to . . . You must be desperate.'_

_'Stop picking on my NoFace,'_

_'Stop cheating!'_

_'I'm not!'_

_'Yes you are!'_

_'Why is nobody talking to me?'_

_'Because you're the wussy one.'_

_'Stop picking on the Good Voice!'_

_'I like chickens!'_

_'Oy ve . . .'_

_'Woah! Back it up!'_

_'Whoever's touching my breast, stop now before I pummel you,'_

_'We can touch each other in his head? I never knew that.'_

_'You didn't? What the Hell did you think when I punched you for singing?!'_

_'I said stop . . .'_

_'Bad Voice, stop touching Inner Kitsune's breast!'_

_'How about some gold, Foxy? You like gold?'_

_'Only if it's from NoFace. Stop touching me!'_

_'Hey, that's sexual harrassment,'_

_'Actually, since it's in one person, I believe it's mastur--'_

_'Stop that thought right there!'_

_'Bad Voice is a pervert and I can't even see him. Are you Inner Jeremy?'_

_'ALL OF YOU STOP TALKING!!' _NoFace screamed in his head. His body slumped against a wall, his consciousness wavering. He fell asleep listening to the voices bicker and argue.

_'It is too sexual harrassment!'_

_'Masturba--'_

_'NoFace, sweetheart, are you okay?'_

_'Stop interrupting me!'_

_'You're still touching me . . .'_

_'OW!!'_

_'Now that serves you right for touching a girl inappropriately!'_

_'Oh, shut up.'_

_'Good night, NoFace . . .'_

-

_**Kitsune -- Wow, that was chaotic.**_

_**Jeremy -- And perverted! You're learning.**_

_**Kitsune -- You want sexual, Jeremy, check out chapter 4 of Tears That Reflect The Moon, a fanfic on my other name, NJ Pickle Fiend.**_

_**Jeremy -- Oooh! A lemon?**_

_**Kitsune -- Rape, not full-blown sex, but a rape scene. There's a difference. And I used metaphor so that it's not as graphic as typing in all the details, but graphic enough to know what you're talking about. Wow, I confused myself.**_

_**Jeremy -- You're ALWAYS confused.**_

_**Kitsune -- This wasn't meant to get perverted, it just came out that way. Review please!!**_


End file.
